Hide the Women and Children

Lemme tell you how we do things around here. We. Don't. Fuck. Around. We're not like them folks in VA. We don't let a crazy murderer wander around for two hours and not even warn anyone. When we get as little as fucking tranny wandering around near a school we lock shit down. Our kids aren't going to be anywhere near that perversion.

Guns? Meh.


I wish, wish, wish that I was totally making this up.

From the Detroit News...

BLOOMFIELD HILLS -- A lockdown at Cranbrook Schools has been lifted this morning after about an hour of searching for a man reportedly walking near the campus in high-heeled shoes and a wig.

Police were called 8:15 a.m. and officers searched the campus looking for the man, Bloomfield Hills Police said, but did not find him.

The man did not approach students while near the campus. More information about the man and what he was wearing were not available.

Cranbrook officials were not available for comment.

Corpses Galore!

This is just getting a little too weird. First there's the torso that turns up in a house a few miles Crotchester. Now this. Apparently some woman in Canton Townshit stored her dead roommate's body in her living room (under a big pile of dirty laundry both literally and figuratively I suppose) and extorted money from her dead roommate's parents saying that their daughter really needed it for important expenses. She ended up getting about $2,000 in drug money from them.

WTF? This is the second corpse, or part of a corpse, found in suburban homes in the Detroit area in the past week. What is wrong with these people? And does dirty laundry really cover up the smell of a seriously autolyzed body? Maybe if you shit all over in the dirty clothes, but that smell is no good either. It's just so fucking bizarre.

If I turn up as a corpse, don't blame anybody but Michigan. It must be in the water here, or something.